The Day I Gave Up My Hair

If you saw my Keek yesterday, you will know that it was called "Hair Day." These are the days that I go to have my hair washed and styled. You may me thinking to yourself what does that have to do with lupus? Well, let me just tell you.

When I was first diagnosed, I had the most beautiful head full of dark brown, full of body, hair that I could ask for. It would do just about anything I wanted it to do. I could be in and out of the shower, dressed with make up on, hair fixed, clothes ironed, in about an hour. I was one lucky girl that that was all it took. Ahhh, those were the days!! Then, it happened. My hair started falling out in handfuls. I was fortunate that I had plenty of it, so at first it wasn't that noticeable. It got so thin that it would do nothing. I would curl it with a curling iron, it went flat. I would hot roll it, it went flat. Trying to use a flat iron was a disaster. I tried every volumizing foam, shampoo, and spray on the market. Nothing seemed to work. After battling with this for about 2 years, that side effect of lupus began to get better, but my hair was never the same. I was beyond frustrated. Frustrated to the point that I gave up. I gave up on my hair. I would wash it with the cheapest shampoo I could find, put conditioner in it so I wouldn't have tangles, and let it air dry. Most of the time, I went to bed with it wet, got up, attempted to do something with it, and out the door I went.

It wasn't until this spring that I looked at myself and realized I was letting myself go. Slowly, but surely I was letting myself go. It was getting harder and harder to get dressed, put my make up on, and fix my hair. There was no way I could do it all in one day (shower, dry my hair, fix it, and put make up on). There were times that I would stay at home just because I didn't have the energy to get dressed.

My family would say, you have got to do something with your hair. It looks awful. So, I pulled out the hair dryer, the curling iron, the flat iron, and the hot rollers determined to do something with myself. Little did I know, what was about to happen would hit me like a ton of bricks. As I began trying to make myself presentable again, I noticed that I was dropping the hair dryer several times while I would try to dry it. When I would try to use the styling tools, my fingers would hurt so bad that I would have to stop and rest, and there were times when I would drop the styling tools and burn myself. I was devastated to say the least. I knew what this meant. Lupus was showing itself in my hands. It was crippling my fingers and my ability to grip things.

I decided I was going to go have my hair cut and highlighted to make myself feel better before I went back to work in August. After the stylist was finished, I loved it!!! I felt so good about myself and the way I looked. It was amazing. She showed me how to style it and said it could even be done the night before and it would still look good in the morning. She was right, but that still didn't take away from the fact that I couldn't grip the hairdryer and I risked burning myself with the curling iron.

I went in the day before school started to have my eyebrows colored (I have a gray spot in my right eye brow...lol), and I was exhausted. I was thinking how am I going to get myself and my daughter ready for school and make myself look presentable. So, I did something that I had never done before. I asked the girl who was coloring my eyebrows if she had time to wash and fix my hair, and it just so happened she did.

It felt so good to have my hair washed the way it should be, have it blow dried out, and styled. It brought life back to me and made me feel so good about myself. You could not see my bald spots or where it was thinning. I was so pleased with the way it looked. I got home that afternoon and the hubs said, "You look amazing. You look like you feel so good." And that my friends was all it took.

That was the day I gave up my hair to the best hairstylist I have ever had. I go twice a week to have it washed and styled. Yes, I touch it up between visits, but it takes 5 minutes at the most and dry shampoo is the best invention since sliced bread. It has changed my life!!

Have I had to make sacrifices to be able to afford to have it done. Absolutely!!! I no longer order out for lunch at work, I have cut back on my clothing budget, and had to make do with what I have, but I don't care. I have found something that is not in the form of a pill that makes me feel wonderful!! It took me several months to tell my family that I do this. It was a pride thing that I wasn't ready to let go of, but I am glad I did.

So, whatever you find that makes you feel good about yourself, do it!!!!! Sacrifice what you can, and learn to live without. It has changed me for the better and I feel better because of it. No more hairdryers dropped on the toes or burns from the styling tools. It was what I needed to get that extra boost of energy and my self confidence back.

If you live in the North Alabama area and need a great hairstylist, let me know and I will give you my stylist's info. If you are having the same problems, give this a try for a month and see if you can swing it.  It has changed my life and hopefully it will yours too :)